I’ve fallen into the “No” trap quite a few times & I still do from time-to-time…..

It usually goes a bit like this.

The hard worker & ambitious over-achiever in me takes on this & that, saying “Yes” to projects or even creating more things for myself to do. Things start well but over time I start to notice myself faltering, with my energy & enthusiasm fading.

I realise I’ve pushed myself a bit too hard & I acknowledge I need “rest”.

I start saying “No” to things but ironically this isn’t just to work-related things….

I say “No” to going to the gym (my body needs a break).

I say “No” to getting outside even if it’s for a short walk with a coffee (I really don’t feel like it).

I say “No” to any social interaction (my social battery doesn’t feel up to it).

This is me in the “No” trap. 

I’ve started saying “No” to the wrong things with no proper reasoning.

We are encouraged in today’s world to say “No” more to establish boundaries & minimize burnout but don’t forget to still say “Yes” to the things which matter….

How do you get out of the “No” trap?

Firstly, you need to understand what it is that you do/don’t want to do aka. You need to understand your boundaries in your professional & personal lives. Try to say “No” to the things we shouldn’t be subconsciously agreeing to aka. anything that isn’t going to give back to us in ways we need it to or to things which don’t align with our values.

Secondly, you need to make sure you aren’t just saying “No” to everything, especially not the things which will help us to rest & recharge us in different ways (even if at that exact moment in time you don’t feel like you’re up to it). It might be that at a particular moment in time you don’t feel quite up for doing something & if that is the case give yourself time to reconsider the options later. 

The amount of times I’ve questioned if I should go to the gym, get outside or doing something… ANYTHING… are always the times when I need it most. I always feel so much better for it afterwards too. 

I really nearly found myself saying “No” to the most amazing opportunity to join the mental health charity You Okay Doc climb up Mount Toubkal in Morocco (it reaches an amazing altitude of 4167m). It was a type of trip which was very much an out of comfort zone activity for me & my gut reaction was to say no to joining them…. I spent some time considering it and decided to go. I’m so glad I did as it really was the trip of a lifetime & an adventure I won’t ever forget.